My dear friends,
thank you - all of you so much, who responded to my situation - for your kind and heart-felt support! Thank you for your love and your light and your blessings! I have read all your comments and appreciations for my work with joy and gratitude!
And I am proud of you who suggested that I look at the profound loss from a spiritual point of view, namely that this time is about loosing an identity that is perhaps still bound to this dimension and to assume Christ Consciousness, or however we want to call it.
I am not able to reply to you inividually, my smartphone does not allow it.
So I try to answer here as good as I can.
Now - the following is not what you think it would be. But I need to paint the whole picture, so that you can SEE what we are made of. Look at my "case" as an example that applies to all of us. Although we live on so called quarantine Earth, although we live on a prison planet, we are FREE! Although there is misery for the overwhelming majority of humanity, we are in Truth all Happy.
And here it begins:
First of all, imagine, it was not only about the total loss of my electronic equipment and the data of my life work (only the few images I uploaded to fineartamerica are usable because they are in high definition) also all my websites can never be updated because I lost all the pages, created with a special software, stored on my devices. To recover them all would be hard work of several month and no fun. Perhaps it is difficult to understand what this all means for an artist. Additionally all my beloved music is gone, everything. I need it also for my videos. But it is all gone. Every piece of it and proof that I bought it.
I don't mention this to be pitied. But just to emphasize the extent to which the situation escalated. Because it is interesting enough, that none of this truly touches me - to my own amazement. It should though, one would think. Yes, there was this immense shock! Which is a normal reaction of the body-mind. It took a while to get out of it.
this was not already enough,
I first did not find what I hoped to find in my new appartement: more peace and ease than in my first one here on this island.
I don't know what is worse! The loss or the ongoing dangerous situation I started to live in.
Imagine: only to go to the bathroom requires to lock the door to the terrasse and to hide somewhere my smartphone, because exactly in the few minutes out of sight thieves could come in. This is what happens here all the time, but I didn't know before. This kind of crazy living and thinking is just ridiculous and you can never relax. In the night I better keep the light on. And on and on.
There was more though. The noise from the street turned out to be overwhelming ( when I first visited it was kind of not noticable) and the energy in the house started to provoke strong headaches which became ever more worse. Sometimes they didn't allow me to sleep.
Dearest friends! Of course, what do you think! I deal with this whole mess on the level I have been always most passionate about: The Unconditional, the Root Condition or Divine Reality, this Radiant Space of Stillness where we are untouched! Physical pain, yes, but untouched at the core of my being. It comes with the frequency of fullness and deep peace, even with happiness, taking over the body.
But don't doubt for a moment that I exactly desired to live this already in the new place from the beginning. It was my very intention! So the loss and all the disaster did not push me to this inner detachment. I consider the mess and all the now required extreme efforts as an extra gift. Perhaps a test how far the mess could go, and I still stay happy ( besides the inevitable shock in my bones and a partial desorientation in this world.)
Bottomline: yes, there is the loss of things, but not of myself or self-identity. Because it is deeper than my personality and its doings. And you know what? Peace is here anyway. Deeper than the mind can imagine. And yes, noise from the street and such bad odor from the busses at times that I need to close all windows. Not exactly what I had prayed for though. But the headaches went away in the fullness and thick air of peaceful Reality, the substance of the world.
Perhaps it all needed to happen to be the living proof for what I have been trying to inspire you with in all these years: our own true Divine Identity that is already Free and Untouched and Happy. No matter what is happening and whatever the body-mind is exposing to the observer.
I got what I wanted. But it came not from outside. It happens from inside. And inside overwrites the outside. This is nothing new but in this case a dramatic proof is being given that it is so. I do the crazy locking of doors and hiding of things. I am cautiously looking around when I leave the house. I experience how my new home is vibrating and humming from the thunder of the traffic. (This to me! Being extremely sensitive to noise!) I flee from the deadly toxic smell of the street. I experience the unthinkable: my life work gone with all the equipments.
But still I laugh. I am free. I lack nothing, although everything is missing and worse than ever. Please consider in the midst of it: you and I are not separate. You are me and I am you on the deepest level of our being. So the essence of what I experience could also be yours. There is no difference, only acceptance and readiness to be who we are.
Perhaps mankind altogether is awaiting a grand loss soon, the loss of our culture we have been famliarizing with over all these years. If our world is to become new the old must first die. Perhaps we all must prepare for this experience. For many it will reveal to them who they truly Are.
And this is all what Really matters.
With hugs and blessings!
And much love!
Ute Posegga-Rudel, http://RadiantlyHappy.blogspot.com
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